To me the steps retreat marked a new chapter in my faith. I had never been fully obedient to God in this area of my life, until now. I use to pray to God and ask Him to strengthen my faith and to help me in my battle against lust but I felt like no real progress was ever really made. I was stuck in this cycle of sin and confess, sin and confess, sin and confess and it was spiritually exhausting. I never really felt free from my sin I only felt like I was managing it.
During the steps retreat God confronted me and called me out, no joke. It was all out of love though, my heavenly father just wanted to free me from my sin but for some reason I just resisted. The first night of the retreat I had an intense spiritual wrestling match with God. I was scared. I was scared to let God free from my sinful bondage. I was being a boy and not the dangerous man God desired me to be. I remember hearing these words in my head, ” If you believe I’m all you need, why won’t you let me be your everything”. In other words God was calling me to be obedient and submit to Him. Yet still I struggled to obey. Luckily, God sent Lowell …
Through the retreat God showed that by being fully obedient I can experience a freedom like none other. A freedom from sexual sin. A freedom only found in Jesus Christ. By doing these steps I finally let Jesus draw a line in the sand and tell the enemy they no longer had power or control. I was trying to wage war on lust by myself without the help of my heavenly father, I was guilty of bringing a knife to a gun fight so to speak. By doing the steps I let God wash me clean from my sin and arm me with new weapons to take on the enemy. After doing this retreat I have realized God has reclaimed me as His own and is now calling me to wage war on the enemy and to take back lost ground.